For the wages of sin is death... That is a mighty steep price to pay. Forgiving yourself for some can be one of the hardest things to do. We want to work for our forgiveness. We want to prove to God we love him and that we are sorry. We want to earn His love and the right to be in His presence again and we keep ourselves in a jail cell of sorts until we feel we've done enough to make up for what we've done. Some people never feel like they have done enough and they live their entire lives in captivity to regret and shame. The truth though, is that we cannot earn God's love, forgiveness or His presence. The Bible tells us that the the wages, or payment for sin is death. The Bible also tells us that eternal life is a gift. Death can be earned, so to speak, but eternal life with Jesus Christ cannot, nor can His love for us. It is a gift and a gift is something we have to accept. He paid the price for our failures, our mess ups, our rebellion and He died once, for all. Then He rose again from the dead offering eternal life to all who believe and call on Him.
So, if you've believed and called on Him, forgiving yourself is not saying that what you did is ok. It is simply accepting that your debt has been paid and choosing to walk free. You must see Jesus paying the price for what you did and accept that it was enough. That is the price God accepted, so why can't we?
I love the movie Chronicles of Narnia because it gives an awesome picture of what all this looks like. In the movie there are four siblings; two brothers and two sisters. In the course of the story the younger brother betrays his siblings, and the price to be paid for that is death. The young boy deserves to be punished for what he did. He was the one who really owes the debt. Aslan, the Lion king knows this, but out of love for the boy, he takes his place and gives his life for the boy.
Jesus Christ has done the same for you and me. As hard as it is to accept sometimes, our debt has been paid. If you are having a hard time forgiving yourself remember that the price for what you did has already been paid. Accept this gift of love and mercy and choose to walk free. That is how you can pay Jesus back. Let him know he did not die for nothing. He wants you to be free of guilt and shame. He wants a close relationship with you. So much so that he willingly took your place on the cross. He went one more step though and only he could do it; He rose again from the dead which means he beat the enemy and he won our freedom; he won eternal life with God for us all. Accept the gift. Walk free and enjoy your relationship with the Lord. He's waiting for you.
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